Learning how to feel sexually attractive is easier than you think. Let’s dive into what sexual attraction is, what makes you feel sexually attracted to someone, and the chemical reactions and deep emotional connections that draw us to others. I’ll explore what it means to be sexually attractive, beyond just looks, focusing on the blend of confidence, authenticity, and emotional presence that sparks desire.

Hint: It’s way more than just physical appearance.

What Does Sexually Attractive Mean?

Sexual attraction is that pull or desire to connect with someone else on a sexual level—it’s when you find yourself wanting to be closer to someone, thinking about them more than usual, and feeling a mix of excitement and nerves when they’re around. This mix of feelings creates a sexual tension that sparks the attraction between two people.

When you’re attracted to someone, your body kicks into high gear, releasing a mix of chemicals like dopamine, adrenaline, and serotonin. Dopamine boosts your feelings of pleasure and sharpens your focus on that special someone, while adrenaline increases your heart rate and might give you those fluttering butterflies, signaling excitement and a readiness for closer connection. Serotonin adds to the mix by deepening your thoughts about the person, keeping them front and center in your mind.

The sexual chemistry you feel is actually the sexual chemistry in your brain.

Together, these changes not only enhance your emotional engagement but also prime your body for intimacy, illustrating the deep link between physical attraction and our biological responses. Being attracted to someone sexually means you’re drawn to them, wanting to explore a deeper, more intimate connection that goes beyond mere physical presence.

two people flirting

What Makes A Person Sexually Attractive?

In the light of our body’s fascinating physiological dance when we’re drawn to someone, what makes a person sexually attractive goes beyond just the surface. It’s about the unique blend of qualities that trigger that exhilarating cocktail of dopamine, adrenaline, and serotonin in another. 

While physical appearance certainly plays a role, sexual attraction goes way deeper than that. It’s in the way you carry your body through body language. Do you maintain eye contact? Are you open, inviting, and engaging? An attractive personality can also play into sexual attraction. Confidence, authenticity, a sense of humor, and the ability to be genuinely present can spark this biochemical reaction, making someone sexually desirable.

All of this radiates safety, which engages our attachment systems, comforting those deep-seated needs for security and connection. It’s these elements, intertwined with our personal history, attachment styles, and the values we cherish, that shape our attraction to others. 

For most of us, our family dynamics, insecurities, and triggers will lead to physiological reactions that can feel a lot like love and attraction. It’s more than just a physical response; it’s an emotional and psychological experience that can feel like your heart’s doing somersaults, driven by the adrenaline rush that comes with the fight-or-flight response. 

Not sure where to begin? Download my Values Clarification Workbook to discover your top core values that make you you:

How To Feel Sexually Attractive

To feel sexually attractive means embracing and expressing your unique self with confidence, authenticity, and a deep connection to your own desires and well-being.

It’s a concept that goes way beyond physical fitness and the surface-level allure that magazines and movies might have us chasing after. Sexual attractiveness is this beautiful blend of sexual confidence, authenticity, and that special spark that connects us to others in a profound way. It’s not about fitting into a cookie-cutter ideal of beauty, but rather, celebrating the unique, wonderful person you are. It’s about standing in front of the mirror, winking at yourself, and saying, “Yeah, I’ve got it going on!”

What’s fascinating about sexual attraction is its deeply personal nature—what makes you feel butterflies in your stomach might not even register for someone else. This variety in tastes and preferences is a call to action for us all: to really tune into our own desires, appreciate our quirks, and communicate our sexual selves with confidence and consent.

Becoming a source of safety for ourselves is foundational to offering that same sense of security to others. This self-generated safety, rooted in understanding and nurturing our own emotional and psychological needs, is what ignites the lasting attraction. By fostering this inner sanctuary, we not only enhance our own sexual attractiveness but also create a space where others feel drawn to us, mirrored by the dance of dopamine, adrenaline, and serotonin within. This cycle of self-love and security sets the stage for a deeper, more enduring connection that transcends mere physical allure, embodying the true essence of what it means to be sexually attractive.

It’s about those moments of self-care, whether you exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet, have a heart-to-heart with a friend, or simply indulge in your favorite hobby, that make you glow from the inside out. It’s about rewriting the old narratives society handed us about sexuality and beauty and penning our own stories where we’re the stars, celebrated for our authenticity and bravery.

Sexual attractiveness isn’t just about turning heads; it’s about turning inward and lighting up your own world. It’s about embracing and loving the person you are and sharing that love with the world. By honoring your true self and cherishing the positive qualities within that make you uniquely enchanting, you unlock a level of sexual attractiveness that’s not only empowering but utterly irresistible.

couple smiling

How To Be Sexually Attractive

In the spirit of inclusivity and understanding that sexual attraction is a multifaceted jewel, here are some actionable tips tailored to everyone, recognizing that these suggestions can be valuable regardless of gender identity. 

Becoming more sexually attractive lies in embracing your authentic self, nurturing your mental health and well-being, and engaging with others in a way that respects and celebrates mutual desires and boundaries.

Quick note: To make sure people can find my content through Google, I often use binary terms like ‘man’ in my posts, but know this: the advice here is meant for everyone, no matter how you love or who you love. ‘Man’ can easily mean ‘person’, or ‘human being’. If something doesn’t quite resonate with you or you’re craving more inclusive insights, I’m here for it. Drop me a line.

How to Be More Sexually Attractive as a Man

Because of personal chemistry, hormones unique to you, and social influence on our understanding of what it means to be “a man”, there are certain physical features that make men attractive. For example, a waist to hip ratio that represents and upside down triangle, good posture, and physical fitness can make a man more physically attractive.

Beyond that, there are deeper elements that make you more sexually attractive. Here are ways to be more sexually attractive:

  • Cultivate Confidence: Confidence is magnetic and can be nurtured through self-awareness and personal development. Engage in activities that make you feel competent and accomplished, whether it’s mastering a new skill, engaging in physical exercise, or dedicating time to a hobby that lights you up.
  • Embrace Emotional Intelligence: Being in touch with your emotions and demonstrating empathy and understanding in your interactions can significantly enhance your attractiveness. Practice active listening and show genuine interest in others’ feelings and experiences.
  • Authentic Self-Expression: Express your true self through your style, actions, and communication. Authenticity draws people in. Whether it’s through your fashion sense, your passions, or your humor, let your real self shine.
  • Health and Hygiene: Taking care of your physical health and maintaining good hygiene are fundamental. This isn’t about fitting a particular physical mold but showing respect for yourself and others by being clean, well-groomed, and physically active in ways that feel right to you.
  • Kindness and Respect: Show kindness and respect in all your interactions. Respectful behavior, including consent and boundaries, is incredibly attractive and forms the foundation of any meaningful connection.

How to Be More Sexually Attractive as a Woman

Hollywood and teen gossip magazines would have you believe that a red dress, lip biting, and dirty talk would make you more sexually attractive. Sure, it can! But nothing builds sexual arousal like a genuine smile and high self worth. Here’s how to genuinely build that openness and peace within yourself and feel more sexually attractive:

  • Self-Love and Confidence: Start with loving yourself. Embrace your body, your personality, and your strengths. Confidence comes from within, and nurturing it will radiate outwardly, making you irresistibly attractive.
  • Authenticity: Be genuine in your interactions. Share your true thoughts, feelings, and interests. Authenticity fosters deep connections and shows that you’re comfortable in your own skin.
  • Emotional Connectivity: Cultivate a deep emotional connection with yourself and others. Understand your emotional needs and communicate them effectively. Being emotionally available and supportive attracts deeper, more meaningful relationships.
  • Self-Care: Prioritize your well-being by engaging in regular self-care practices. Whether it’s through exercise, meditation, or pursuing hobbies that bring you joy, taking care of yourself enhances your attractiveness by showcasing your happiness and fulfillment.
  • Independence and Passion: Pursue your passions and goals with zeal. An independent person who is passionate about their pursuits is highly attractive. It shows that you have your own life and interests, which is an appealing quality.

Tap Into Your Sexual Attractiveness

Unlocking your sexual attractiveness isn’t just about enhancing your outward appeal; it’s about diving deep into the essence of who you are and radiating that authenticity and confidence to the world. It’s about nurturing your well-being, embracing your uniqueness, and understanding that true physical attractiveness comes from within. Whether it’s refining your communication skills, exploring your desires, or simply learning to love and accept yourself, the journey to feeling irresistibly attractive is deeply personal and incredibly rewarding.

But you don’t have to embark on this journey alone. If you’re ready to go deeper into your own sexual attractiveness, to uncover and embrace the qualities that make you uniquely desirable, then it’s time to take the next step. Booking a call with me is your gateway to a more confident, authentic, and sexually attractive you. Together, we’ll explore your desires, tackle your insecurities, and craft a personalized plan to help you shine from the inside out.

Don’t let doubts hold you back from experiencing the profound connection and fulfillment you deserve. Reach out now, and let’s unlock the door to your most sexually attractive self. Your journey towards embracing and enhancing your sexual attractiveness starts here.

Take the leap today, and tap into the power of your own sexual attractiveness. Book your call, and let’s embark on this transformative journey together.

About the Author The MamaSutra

Dr. Lanae St.John is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and certified sex coach with a background in sexology and a passion for helping people improve their sexual health and relationships. She is the author of "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"" and the upcoming "You Are the One: How stopping the search and looking inside will lead you to your romantic destiny," and is committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research and trends in the field. Dr. St.John aims to share her knowledge and expertise in a relatable and approachable way through her blog on themamasutra.com.

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