There is a lot that goes into lasting long term relationships. A major part of long lasting relationships is whether or not they’re fun to be in!

Flirting with your spouse is a fun and easy way to keep love fresh in a long term relationship. I love being a flirt and write about my flirty adventures pretty often on the blog. So let me share with you my personal guide on how to flirt with your husband.

What Is Flirting?

Flirting is simply showing someone you’re interested in them in a playful and light-hearted way. It’s like using small gestures, smiles, and playful teasing to say, “I think you’re cute and fun!” It’s not just for people who are dating; it’s a great tool for couples, even if you’ve been married for years, to keep the fun and spark alive in your relationship.

Why Flirting With Your Spouse Is A MUST

Think flirting is just for new couples? Think again! Flirting with your spouse is like giving your marriage a mini boost of fun every day. It reminds you both of why you clicked in the first place and keeps things lively. When you toss a cute compliment their way or send a flirty wink across the room, you’re not just fooling around—you’re saying, “Hey, I still think you’re awesome.” This kind of playful teasing can make even the most routine day feel a little more special.

Flirtatious communication creates a playful, private space that boosts how satisfied and committed you feel in your marriage. It’s kind of like relationship glue—it helps maintain your bond, keeps things fresh, and yep, it even cranks up the heat in your love life. 

Flirtatious behaviors are particularly significant for women in maintaining relationships, offering reassurance and strengthening the commitment between partners.

And there’s more: being affectionate with each other—through both words and actions—doesn’t just make you feel good; it actually helps manage stress. Expressing affection can smooth out those stress hormones, making you both healthier and happier.

couple flirting while making dinner

Plus, having a supportive, affectionate relationship can protect against mental health woes like depression. The quality of your relationship can influence your psychological well-being, and this effect is even more pronounced for women. This means that keeping your marital vibe positive and supportive is super important for both your minds.

So, why keep the flirting alive? It makes everyday feel a bit special, reinforces your connection, and seriously boosts both your emotional and physical health. A little flirting goes a long way—it keeps the spark alive, makes you both feel great, and strengthens your marriage in the long run. 

So go ahead, send that flirty text or flash that goofy smile—you’re not just fooling around, you’re making your marriage stronger.

How To Flirt With Your Husband: 41 Flirty Ideas

Learning how to flirt with your husband is the fun side of putting work into a happy and healthy relationship. Romance is all about the little things sprinkled throughout a long day.

Quick note: To make sure people can find my content through Google, I often use heterocentric terms like ‘boyfriend’ in my posts, but know this: the advice here is meant for everyone, no matter how you love or who you love. ‘Boyfriend’ can easily mean ‘partner’, ‘spouse’, or ‘girlfriend’ – you get the gist. If something doesn’t quite resonate with you or you’re craving more inclusive insights, I’m here for it. Drop me a line.

Here is a long list of ways to flirt with your husband and keep that spark going strong:

  1. Give Him a Wink: Throw a playful wink his way when he least expects it—it’s a quick, fun way to let him know you’re thinking about him.
  2. Compliment Him: Drop a compliment about how sharp he looks today. Whether it’s a new haircut or his favorite shirt, this is an easy opportunity to shower him with compliments and make him feel special. If you really want to give him butterflies, then comment on his beautiful smile. Trust me, a little ego boost goes a long way in keeping the spark alive.
  3. Text Him Good Morning: Shoot him a cute or cheeky text to kick off his day with a smile.
  4. Heart on His Coffee Cup: Scribble a little heart or a sweet note on his coffee mug if you’re the one making the morning brew.
  5. Touch Him Lightly: During conversation, lightly touch his forearm or gently lay your hand on his thigh. Holding hands is also a sweet flirty gesture that can send big signals of affection and desire.
  6. Give Him ‘The Look’: Use “the look” across a crowded room or during a quiet moment at home. It’s that special glance that says, “I’ve got my eyes on you,” loaded with love and a hint of mischief.
  7. Body Language Tease: When sitting together, subtly shift your posture toward him, crossing your legs in his direction or leaning in closer while chatting. It’s a non-verbal cue that you’re interested and focused on him.
  8. Slow Blink: Slowly blink your eyes when you’re looking at him. It’s a mesmerizing move that can captivate his attention and make the moment feel more intimate.
  9. Sidle Up Close: Find an excuse to close the space between you. When you’re in a public place, gently press against him as if the crowd is pushing you. It’s an excuse for a brief, thrilling contact.
  10. Smile with Your Eyes: Smiles aren’t just about your mouth. Smiling with your eyes, also known as ‘smizing,’ can convey affection and warmth, pulling him in without a word.
  11. Hair Flip or Tuck: A classic flirtatious move is the hair flip or a gentle tuck of your hair behind your ear while maintaining eye contact. It’s playful and can draw his attention to your face and neck.
  12. Shoulder Glance: Give him a look over your shoulder with a slight smile as you walk away. It’s inviting and leaves a lingering sense of intrigue.
  13. Hand on Heart: When he says something touching or funny, place your hand over your heart as if to say, “You got me feeling all the feels.” It’s a sweet gesture that shows he impacts your emotions directly.
  14. Foot Pop: If you’re feeling a bit playful and retro, give him a little foot pop while you’re kissing or hugging. It’s a cute move straight out of classic romance movies.
  15. Laugh Together: Send him a silly meme or joke just for the two of you—laughter is super sexy.
  16. Make a Quick Call: Ring him up just to drop a quick “I’m thinking about you.” It’s a nice surprise in the middle of a busy day.
  17. Leave A Flirty Note: Stick little flirty love notes in places he’ll find during the day, like his laptop or his car dashboard.
  18. Surprise Him with His Favorite Treat: Bring home his favorite snack or candy—just because.
  19. Lipstick Kiss on a Note: Plant a kiss on a piece of paper, leave a flirty message on it, and tuck it into his bag.
  20. Use Fun Emojis: Drop a flirty emoji or two into your texts to keep things light and fun.
  21. Play Footsie: Sneak a little footsie under the table during dinner. It’s a sweet throwback to your dating days.
  22. Big Hug When He Gets Home: Wrap him up in a big, warm hug as soon as he walks through the door. Physical affection speaks volumes and makes us feel loved without even saying a word!
  23. Chat Before Bed: Spend a few minutes talking in bed about anything or nothing at all. It’s all about that quiet time together.
  24. End the Day with a Special Kiss: Give him a goodnight kiss that’s just a bit longer than the usual peck.
  25. Cook Up Some Fun: Next time you’re both in the kitchen, turn it into a playful game. Maybe wear something cute under your apron to give him a little surprise.
  26. Treasure Hunt at Home: Set up a mini treasure hunt with little notes or gifts around the house. End with a fun surprise that’ll make him smile.
  27. Relive Your First Date: Plan an evening that feels like the first time you went out together. It’s a sweet way to remember why you both fell in love.
  28. Write on the Mirror: Use a washable marker to write something flirty on the bathroom mirror. He’ll see it when he steams up the room getting ready.
  29. Dance While You Make Breakfast: Put on his favorite tune in the morning and dance around the kitchen as you make breakfast. It’ll start both of your days on a high note.
  30. Mystery Date Night: Plan a date but keep all the details a surprise. Dress up and watch him get excited about what’s coming.
  31. Send a Flirty Poem: Text him a funny or flirty haiku or limerick during the day. It’s a small thing that shows you’re thinking about him.
  32. Join His Workout: Get in on his workout session and challenge him a little—nothing like a bit of healthy competition to get the heart racing.
  33. Create a Signature Drink: Mix up a special cocktail just for him, something that captures his spirit or an inside joke between you.
  34. Spontaneous Dance Party: Blast a lively song and pull him up for an impromptu dance in your living room. It’s sure to bring some laughs and closeness.
  35. Secret Love Note: Hide a love note in his wallet or somewhere he’ll find it unexpectedly during his day.
  36. Read Together at Night: Pick a book you both can get into and read aloud to each other before bed. It’s relaxing and intimate.
  37. Make a Playlist: Put together a playlist of songs that mean something special to both of you and play it during a quiet evening.
  38. Candlelit Bath: Surprise him with a candlelit bath complete with his favorite scents. Join him if there’s room, and make it a shared, relaxing moment.
  39. Use a Special Nickname: Call him by a special nickname in public. It’s a little thing that keeps your bond unique and close.
  40. Write a Short Love Letter: Sometimes, the classic ways are the best. Grab a piece of pretty stationery and write him a short love letter. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare—just a few lines about what you love about him or a sweet memory you share. You could even spritz it with your perfume, like in the movie Grease! Slip it into his briefcase, lunch bag, or even under his pillow.
  41. Send Him a Love Song: Music can be the perfect wingman. Find a song that’s not just romantic but also a bit sexy or playful—something that makes you both smile or dance. Send it over with a cheeky note like, “Bet you can’t listen to this without thinking of last weekend,” or “This song makes me want to skip dinner tonight.” It’s a fun way to add a little spark to your day and keep things light and flirty between you two.

Want help spicing things up in the bedroom? Get my Definitive Guide To Dirty Talk For Shy People 🌶️

dirty talk

Work With A Sex Coach For More Ways To Explore Intimacy

I hope these flirty ideas inspire you to keep the romance burning bright in your marriage. Remember, it’s the little gestures and moments of playfulness that can truly make a relationship thrive. If you’ve enjoyed this guide and are curious about exploring more ways to deepen your connection and add excitement to your relationship, consider taking a step further.

As a professional intimacy and relationship coach, I’m here to help you unlock new levels of intimacy and enjoyment with your partner. Whether you’re looking to enhance your communication, spice up your romantic life, or simply find more joy in your everyday interactions, I have the tools and expertise to assist you. Don’t let routine dampen the sparks you and your spouse deserve to enjoy.

dr. lanae st.john

Ready to transform your relationship? Schedule a session with me and let’s make every day feel like the first day you fell in love. Because in love, every day should be filled with a little flirtation and a lot of fun!

Reach out now, and let’s keep that spark alive together!

About the Author

The MamaSutra

Dr. Lanae St.John is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and certified sex coach with a background in sexology and a passion for helping people improve their sexual health and relationships. She is the author of "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"" and the upcoming "You Are the One: How stopping the search and looking inside will lead you to your romantic destiny," and is committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research and trends in the field. Dr. St.John aims to share her knowledge and expertise in a relatable and approachable way through her blog on

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