It’s that time of year again: No Nut November (NNN) is upon us, sparking conversations and controversies alike (Someone posed an NNN-related question on Quora for me, which reminded me that *sigh* it’s November again). So let’s dive into what this trend really stands for and whether it’s in tune with healthy sexual well-being.

No Nut November is a challenge that promotes abstaining from masturbation/ejaculation for the month (aka NoFap). It’s a concept that’s gained traction on the internet, and it’s often associated with “claims” of mental and physical benefits. But as a sexuality educator and relationship coach, I want to offer you more insight.

The Myth of Abstinence

This idea that abstaining from sexual release is somehow inherently beneficial is a one-sided narrative. It ignores the body of actual research about the positive aspects of masturbation/self-pleasure. Regular sexual activity, including masturbation, has been linked to numerous health benefits, such as stress reduction and better sleep.

no nut november, benefits to ignoring it.
from, “Youth Central with Philly FIGHT”

The Research Speaks

This challenge can also perpetuate a sense of shame or inadequacy for those who choose not to participate or are unable to stick to it. One research article I found about “The Battle for NoFap” said, “The sense of social isolation, anhedonia, and anxiety about ‘real world’ connections is similarly pervasive in the NoFap corpus.” This quote touches on the core issue that the NoFap community might be grappling with social isolation and real-world anxieties. It points out a critical aspect that could be contributing to why individuals might turn to the NoFap movement in the first place, which ties into the broader conversation about the importance of intimacy, connection, and the accurate understanding of sexuality.

Challenging the Challenge

Instead of going cold turkey on sexual pleasure, what if we shifted the focus to No Shame November? This alternative approach promotes a shame-free understanding of sexuality. It’s about embracing your desires, exploring what pleasure means to you, and obtaining comprehensive sex education that empowers informed and personal choices.

Sexuality isn’t a one-month challenge—it’s a lifelong journey of understanding, acceptance, and joy. Instead of No Nut November, let’s use this month to celebrate that journey and make informed choices that enhance our intimate lives, not restrict them.

As always, remember that sexual health is about finding what works for you. It’s about intimacy, connection, and a fulfilling life both in and out of the bedroom. If you’re curious about creating a path that’s tailored to your needs, I’m here to help guide the way.



p.s., Looking for a space where intimacy and understanding thrive? Join the Oasis Membership—a community where curiosity leads to discovery and education paves the way to empowerment. In Oasis, we break down barriers with open-hearted conversations and a treasure trove of resources that support your journey towards a more satisfying, joyful intimate life.

Click here to learn more and join us in the Oasis Membership today!

About the Author

The MamaSutra

Dr. Lanae St.John is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and certified sex coach with a background in sexology and a passion for helping people improve their sexual health and relationships. She is the author of "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"" and the upcoming "You Are the One: How stopping the search and looking inside will lead you to your romantic destiny," and is committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research and trends in the field. Dr. St.John aims to share her knowledge and expertise in a relatable and approachable way through her blog on

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