Another mom friend of mine had an interesting situation occur.  Put yourself in her shoes as I tell the story and think about how you would respond.


Your 7 year old child is at a sleepover at dad’s/friend’s/relative’s house.  Your child is not asleep when an adult/teen/older sibling in the house starts watching a DVD.  It’s “Good Luck Chuck”.  The next day your child comes home and asks you, “What’s a “blow job”?  What’s “fingering”?  What’s “doin’ the nasty”?  What do you DO??

I’ll tell you what happened in this situation.  My girlfriend is an attractive, whip-smart, no-nonsense woman.  She told her daughter the truth and gave a direct answer (a very brief, need-to-know answer) to each question with no shame or embarrassment.  She also told her daughter that those were not appropriate words for a kid to say out in public so they would keep them between mom & daughter.  The daughter tried a couple times to use the new terms but the mom just simply redirected her that it was not a nice thing to say.  And it was totally a non-issue from that point on.

When this fellow mother told her other mother/girlfriends this story, most replied along the lines of… “OMG!  You TOTALLY should have made something up!”  I STRONGLY disagree with that approach.  In my opinion, I think my girlfriend did EXACTLY the right thing.  As uncomfortable as it was for my friend, she knew deep down that she did not want to tell her daughter a lie.  They have a strong mother-daughter bond.  I think this just made that bond stronger.

So now back to you:  How do you think lying or telling untrue words to your son or daughter will affect your relationship?  Fast forward 5 years or so when your child encounters the words again with his/her peers and the others laugh at your child because s/he is misinformed.  Do you think that will have an impact on what your child thinks of you?

About the Author Lanae

Dr. Lanae St.John is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and certified sex coach with a background in sexology and a passion for helping people improve their sexual health and relationships. She is the author of "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"" and the upcoming "You Are the One: How stopping the search and looking inside will lead you to your romantic destiny," and is committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research and trends in the field. Dr. St.John aims to share her knowledge and expertise in a relatable and approachable way through her blog on themamasutra.com.

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