You may be wondering: "How can I become more assertive when it comes to expressing my desires, especially in the realm of sexuality?" Well, grab a glass of your favorite beverage, plop into your comfy reading spot, and settle in for two minutes because I've got some tips to share!
1. Know What You Don't Want
There's plenty of advice that says for sexual confidence in the bedroom, you have to "know what you want." Easy for some, but for many, they have no idea what that is, and even the question stresses them out! So I'd like to encourage you to get clear on what you don't want. Not just in the bedroom but in all aspects of life. Think of it like ordering your daily coffee at Starbucks. You're no stranger to your "extra foam, caramel drizzle, extra hot, non-fat, no whip" order, right? Why? Because you've learned what you don't like over time.
Actionable Step: Take a moment to journal a few things you know you don't want in your intimate and non-intimate experiences. This clarity will help you navigate towards what truly excites you.
2. It's Okay Not to Know
Guess what? It's perfectly okay not to have all the answers right from the start. Many of us, especially those socialized as women in the USA, haven't been encouraged to be assertive about our desires. So, give yourself permission to explore and learn.
Think of it as trying a new Starbucks drink for the first time – you might not know if you'll love it, but you're curious, right? Approach your desires with the same curiosity and willingness to explore.
Remember, confidence in asking for what you want, sexually or otherwise, is a journey, not a destination. Besides, things can change from one time frame to the next! So be patient with yourself, embrace the learning process, get curious, and ask questions along the way.
By focusing on what you don't want and allowing yourself room to explore, you'll find that confidence in expressing your desires will grow naturally. So go ahead, embrace your inner Starbucks barista and start crafting your perfect order in the bedroom and beyond. You've got this!
Stay fabulous, my friends, and don't forget to sprinkle a little extra confidence into every aspect of your life.
xxoo,
Lanae
p.s., If you're ever in need of some one-on-one guidance or support to boost your confidence and empower yourself, I'm just a call away. 
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