As a parent, being able to talk about pornography and other sensitive topics to your children can be about as fun as a root canal. But it’s necessary because porn is all too prevalent in today’s society and your child will come across it at some point. It is important to have open and honest conversations with your kids about sex and sexuality so they get the context, what to be aware of, and an overall healthy understanding of these subjects.

talk about pornography

Why It’s Important

In today’s digital age, pornography is easily accessible and can have a significant impact on young minds. By discussing it with your children, you can help them make sense of what they may come across online and provide guidance on how to navigate these situations.

Tips to Talk About Pornography

    • Start the conversation early.Don’t wait until your child is exposed to pornography to talk about it. Begin discussing sexuality and boundaries from a young age so that your child is better equipped to handle these situations as they grow up (I talk about this extensively in my book).

    • Be honest and open.For your child to trust you and feel comfortable talking to you about sensitive topics, it’s important to be genuine and transparent with them. Avoid shaming or lecturing, and instead focus on having a conversation where both parties can share their thoughts and feelings.

    • Use age-appropriate language.Tailor the conversation to your child’s age and maturity level. Be prepared for questions and make sure you are using terms that they can understand.

    • Discuss healthy relationships.Pornography often portrays unrealistic and depictions of sex that can be difficult to understand or comprehend for kids/teens. Heck, some adults don’t get it either. Take this opportunity to discuss what a healthy relationship should look like, including mutual respect, consent, and boundaries.

    • Set boundaries for internet usage.It’s important to monitor your child’s internet usage and set rules around what sites they can visit. This can help limit their exposure to pornography. Do you know that any blocks you put on the internet or webpages can serve as a challenge for kids to “work around” them? One of my clients got into programming as a teen after taking the blocks mom put on the computer as a challenge.

    • Be understanding and empathetic.Remember that your child may have questions or concerns about pornography that you may not be prepared for. Stay calm, listen to their perspective, and try to understand where they are coming from.

Talk about pornography to your kids may seem intimidating, but by approaching the conversation with a non-judgmental and empathetic attitude, you can help them develop a healthy understanding of sexuality. If you need help with this, I am here for you!

Remember that talk about pornography and these sex-related topics should be ongoing and age-appropriate, and be sure to provide support and guidance whenever your child needs it. Remember, this post is for educational purposes only and should not replace seeking the help of a knowledgeable professional when you need it. Be sure to check in regularly with your child and continue the conversation as they grow and encounter new situations. With open communication and trust, you can guide your children toward making informed decisions about their sexual health.




Resources to talk about pornography to your kids:

The Porn Conversation at

READ ME: A Parental Primer for “The Talk”” – the book I wrote for parents

If you want help with starting this convo, check out my Mad Lib-Style Mea Culpa Script for The Talk


About the Author

The MamaSutra

Dr. Lanae St.John is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and certified sex coach with a background in sexology and a passion for helping people improve their sexual health and relationships. She is the author of "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"" and the upcoming "You Are the One: How stopping the search and looking inside will lead you to your romantic destiny," and is committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research and trends in the field. Dr. St.John aims to share her knowledge and expertise in a relatable and approachable way through her blog on

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