There’s a lot of information on the web about sex. But stuff written for you about how to talk to your kids is kind of rare. I want to fix that. I want to make sure you know why I wrote a book for parents and caregivers about kids and sexuality, why I think you should read my book, and who I am to tackle this topic.
Why did I write this book?
Because getting useful information about sex was tough to get from the adults around me as I was growing up. And today, it hasn’t gotten any easier.
When I was young, I was outgoing, friendly, and energetic; however, when I hit puberty, I developed insecurities relating to my body, boobs, boys, popularity, attention from men, et cetera. Sex Ed in school only talked about body parts and menstruation (which I didn’t yet have because I was “a late bloomer”). Also, because I was kept in the dark about a lot of things (not just related to sex), my own confidence and decision making suffered. It could have been better if I had good intel to start with.
Nowadays, as a mother living with kids in today’s internet/google/media-driven society, I knew I wanted things to be different for my kids. So I dedicated myself to learning what I could to prevent my kids from feeling how I felt. I have found that being open and honest about this topic has given my kids a level of comfort, security, and taken away that “no one will tell me, so I’m gonna go figure sex out for myself” attitude. It has also opened the doors to communication going both ways.
Professionally, talking about sexuality with my students and clients comes so naturally for me. But it hasn’t always been so easy. I struggled in my marriage to talk about what I wanted in a lot of areas. Now, I’ve done a lot of work to understand and fix those blocks I had. I have studied why it’s important and how to make the topic of sexuality and relationships more comfortable and easy to talk about with the people in your life who need to know (i.e., partners, parents, physicians, therapists, etc.).
Why should you read this?
This book can help you move from being nervous or scared or unsure about what to say –> to confident, comfortable, and connected with your kids. Consider more laughing, more engagement, more love, more respect, less surliness, less anger, less fear… Sounds pretty fantastic? This book can be the start for you to begin to feel at ease – to not have to worry or feel as much fear for your kids.
Parents are naturally scared for their kids. There’s a lot out there to be afraid of but, if we work together and bring things into the light, we realize it’s not that scary. This book brings concepts we may take for granted into focus. And to the table for conversation. It’s really not that bad after all and can actually be enjoyable. In our house, we laugh, we talk, we cry, and we reconnect. We break down everything and they know I love them – unconditionally (meaning they don’t have to be “good girls” to get my love). I’m able to relax as they go out into the world more and more. Is that a feeling you’d rather have too?
These conversations can be fun. And they may make your interactions with your partner(s) fun too.
I developed the 5 Building Blocks to a Healthy Sexuality as a guide to breaking things down into bite-sized pieces. The best part? They don’t require you to talk about what goes where and with whom! Hard to believe? Think of this as a primer to Sex Education. One where I hope you’ll find yourself thinking about old concepts in new ways.
I wrote this book to help YOU. As parents, you can look forward to practical advice in steering these conversations in constructive directions, rather than reacting with surprise or embarrassment. The result is an intentional, mindful new approach to collaborating with young people on how to start, stop, delay, and play with their emerging sexuality, physical, and emotional health.
Introducing: “READ ME: A Parental Primer For The Talk”
The manuscript I wrote has been looking for a home. Finally, I’m bringing my book directly to you.
What is it about? We wrote this blurb for the book:
Everyone knows that talking with kids about sex is important, but it’s still one of the hardest things to do. Whether you’re a parent yourself, you plan to be someday, or you want to support the parents (and young people) in your life, the best way to do it right is to plan for it in advance. Sexologist and mom Dr. Lanae St.John (aka The MamaSutra) can help you figure it out. She’ll talk about common barriers parents have to having these conversations, how to identify your own hurdles and challenges, where to get the best information you need to support your children, and ways to integrate discussions of sexuality, relationships, decision making, and other relevant topics into everyday conversations.
St.John created “The Five Building Blocks to a Healthy Sexuality,” –Communication, Consent, Respect, Pleasure, and Fantasy – concepts that are useful for children and adults of all ages because they provide a solid foundation and extend beyond talk about specific sexual behaviors. Sex-positive parenting is something that takes practice and work, and with the help of St.John, you’ll be well on your way to making sure your kids will have the resources, support, and skills to take care of themselves, make the best decisions they can, and enjoy happy and fulfilling sex lives.
Lastly, who am I?
I am a board-certified sexologist, parenting & relationship coach, and sexuality educator. I received my Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Once I graduated, I also taught a class in Child and Adolescent Sexuality. For a couple of years, I also taught Human Sexuality at City College of San Francisco and serve on the Advisory Board for the World Association of Sex Coaches. I develop workshops, teach classes, and work with clients to normalize conversations about sexuality between parents and children.
For years, I’ve studied what people do sexually and how they think and feel about it. Plus, I have always been good at seeing process improvements and there are definitely areas where we can do better in talking with each other and with our kids about sex. Most importantly, I am a mother too, not just some person on the internet who has ideas about how you should do something. We’ve survived and dare I say, thrived, with my two daughters as the proverbial guinea pigs. They’ve turned out okay and we’ve made it well into the teen years with our relationship still intact (amazing, right?! Teens can be so annoying!).
What’s next
I hope you are inspired to check out my book. It comes out on Thursday, June 27.
There are a few ways you can help this book get some action. Would you consider helping by:
- Sharing on social media. Share news of the book with your followers on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and any other platform you love to use. I’d love to hear your impressions!
- Buying a copy. The book is currently available for preorder/purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, iBooks, and other book retailers.
- Writing a review. Please share your positive thoughts on Amazon and Goodreads starting on June 27, 2019.
If you want a little more information about the book, click here. If you are ready to buy, please click here for Amazon.com. Or, if you’d like to buy one in your local bookstore, ask them to order it for you. That gets it on the radar of the big wigs.
I’m so proud of this book and really excited to share it with you! Kids grow up so fast, so buy the book now and start before you’re ready!
I’m so grateful our paths have crossed and hope my book helps you and your family grow in love.
xxoo,
Lanae
The MamaSutra