(aka How to Stop Feeling Like a Doormat)
Let’s set the record straight: Boundaries aren’t walls, ultimatums, or some self-help catchphrase for “just say no.” They’re how you teach people how to treat you. And if that sentence made you squirm a little, welcome. You’re in the right place.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling drained, resentful, or like you gave in to keep the peace, you probably needed a boundary and didn’t know how to hold it.
Let’s fix that with some examples you can actually use.
Emotional boundaries
“I’m don’t want to talk about this right now. I need to come back to it when I’ve got the bandwidth.”
Why this matters: You’re not a 24/7 emotional support hotline. You get to have limits around what you take on, and when. That doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you a grown-ass adult with an emotional budget.
Tip: Don’t wait for the meltdown to draw the line. Practice small boundaries when the stakes are low so you’re not scrambling when they’re high.
Physical boundaries
“Hey—I need a little space right now. I’ll let you know when I’m up for closeness again.”
Why this matters: Even people who love each other don’t always want to be touched. Your body isn’t up for negotiation. And yeah, this includes family, partners, and that one friend who always greets you like a golden retriever on espresso.
Tip: Want to make consent normal in your relationship? Ask before assuming. “Can I hug you?” works at every stage of life.
Time boundaries
“I can stay for an hour, then I’ve got other things I need to take care of.”
Why this matters: Your time is yours. Not up for grabs. Not endlessly elastic. If you don’t protect it, everyone else will treat it like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Tip: Set your “yes” on a timer. It’s still kind, just with a built-in exit plan.
Communication boundaries
“I want to work through this, but I’m not okay with yelling or name-calling. Let’s take a breather and try again in 20.”
Why this matters: Conflict is healthy. Chaos isn’t. Boundaries in communication are how you stay connected and respected, even when you disagree.
Tip: Set your fight rules before the next blow-up. Future-you will thank you.
Financial boundaries
“I’m cool with splitting dinner, but I’m not comfortable covering all of your bills.”
Why this matters: Money drama sinks more relationships than bad sex. Be clear about what’s shared, what’s yours, and what’s not up for negotiation.
Tip: If your gut clenches before a conversation about money, that’s your cue: talk about it sooner. It doesn’t get easier with time—it just gets messier.
Digital boundaries
“I’d rather we keep our relationship offline. That includes posts, pics, and password sharing.”
Why this matters: Just because it happened doesn’t mean it needs to be posted. Privacy isn’t shady—it’s respectful. And you’re allowed to have digital space that’s yours.
Tip: You don’t need to share passwords to prove trust. You need honesty, conversation, and maybe a shared calendar if you’re Type A.
The Takeaway
Healthy boundaries in relationships aren’t intended to push people away. They make space for the right people to come closer—the ones who respect your no as much as your yes.
And if someone gets weird when you hold a boundary? That’s data. File it under “People I Don’t Have Time For Anymore.”
xxoo,
Lanae
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